Leaving 2017 behind felt good.  If you’ve been following along with me on my journey, you know some of the monstrous health issues I’ve faced.  Even though doctors ended up calling it fibromyalgia, I am still calling by its pet name, aka “cruel misery”.  Why?  Because I want to separate cruel misery from my identity, and fibromyalgia is too broad a term in my mind to describe the nightmare I’ve been through.  Last year was saturated with intense pain, deep angst, and raw moments with the Lord.  And as happy as I am to put those awful months behind me, I’d be a fool to think it would have been far better if I hadn’t gone through all of that suffering.

Something changed in my spirit every time I cried out to God in my brokenness.  He met me there.  He did not run away when I screamed at Him for letting my pain persist.  He never hid His face when I fell into despair and disappointment.  God never left my side.  When I came to Him with my dust, thinking there was no possible way that He could form anything valuable out of something so damaged, He showed me that brokenness does not immobilize me, but instead it qualifies me to make enormous waves of love in the world.  In the words of Graham Cooke, “God needs us wounded to do His ministry.”

When I came to Him with my dust, thinking there was no possible way that He could form anything valuable out of something so damaged, He showed me that brokenness does not immobilize me, but instead it qualifies me to make enormous waves of love in the world. 

Our human condition, at times, prevents us from an awareness that God isn’t surprised when these unbending situations arise in front of us.  He has known since the beginning of time every detail of our suffering.  When I look back at my life before cruel misery entered the picture, I remember the nudging of the Holy Spirit to build a foundation of faith.  He called me out through conviction of secret sins that had been tormenting me for years with shame and guilt; He spoke prophetic visions through strangers I’d never met that came true; He drew me in with a tenacious hunger for His word; and He guided me out of my comfort zone and into unfamiliar heights of leadership.  Little did I know at the time that the Lord was training me for battle behind the scenes, and every step of obedience became of weapon for me to use in combat.  My heavenly Father had given me words of life before the doctors could give me the words of death and incurable suffering.  What a beautiful gift!

My heavenly Father had given me words of life before the doctors could give me the words of death and incurable suffering. 

While I am still in wait for victory over this illness, I have seen daily victories in my life being won by taking every though captive to the obedience of Christ and letting the Lord transform and renew my mind.  I’ve learned that when we walk in daily obedience, we get to share His authority in the spiritual world! So the fear that had been plaguing me my entire life was broken by standing under God’s authority and speaking the Lord’s truth over every situation.  This metamorphosis has been the most freeing and beautiful part of my existence, and it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t experienced deep long-standing torment.  Another Graham Cooke quote comes to mind is this, “If you don’t let God take you to the depths; He can’t take you into the heights.” Plunging into the underbelly of suffering with God allows us to develop a profound trust in Him that brings us to a place where He can trust us with His ministry.

Plunging into the underbelly of suffering with God allows us to develop a profound trust in Him that brings us to a place where He can trust us with His ministry.

Before last year, I thought that the word success and achievement were synonymous.  But the Lord views success a whole lot differently than we do, and it took years of suffering to understand His perspective.  We succeed when we are faithful!  When we remain steadfast through the trail, He rewards our upright standing both in this world and the next.  1 Peter 1:7 says this, “Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine.  When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.”  This truth that I believe in has been proved true time and time again.  My prayer is that He would get to glory, just as the prophecy spoken over me had foretold.  So while there is still pain searing through my body, I am declaring that it would radiate His triumph over the schemes of hell.

Like many, I have been searching for a word that would summarize my direction for 2018.  The word for this year is undaunted.  While I was reading the book of John, I saw that word in Jesus’ command to us before he went through his own trial.  This is what Jesus commands of us in John 16:33, “Be confident, be undaunted, and be filled with joy; for I have overcome the world.”  The word undaunted can be defined by the following: not intimidated or discouraged by difficulty, danger, or disappointment.   While I expect 2018 to continue with obstacles and hardships, I believe that God has assigned me to be courageous through it all.  The disappointment that will soon appear cannot overcome me.  I won’t let it win.  Every moment of pain will be met time and time again by God’s reckless love and bountiful grace.  I’ve got all I need to fight this battle, and to have victory over disappointment!  I will not be bullied by Satan’s strategies to wear down my soul in this waiting period.  Instead, I will stand and take ground back for God!  Thank you Jesus for such an encouraging outlook on this fresh new year.  My prayer is that you, Lord,  would get the glory in everything I do!


I will be praying this word for you all this year!  May the Lord bring you out of the pit of disappointment, by filling your well with His amazing presence. My hope is that you will find relentless peace in your unrelenting suffering.



Victory Over Anxiety DIY Banner


Want to hear something ironic?  I was afraid to share this.  The thoughts that went on in my head sounded a lot like this, “This is going to make someone uncomfortable.  Maybe I’m not well enough to write this.  What if I write this, and then continue to struggle with anxiety?  What are they going to think?  I’m not an expert.  People are going to think this is too spiritual.  They are going to think that I’m judging them.”

What does that sound like?  Fear?  Yes.  I was afraid to talk about fear.  How silly is that?  It took reading scripture to realize that what I was thinking didn’t line up with what the Lord was asking me to do.  Throughout my entire experience with anxiety and depression, God has asked me to step out and share.  It certainly is not because I want attention, because believe me, I am not a huge fan of sharing painful parts of my life.  But God has been calling me to shine light over those dark places nobody wants to go, and although my pride takes a hit, I know that obedience to his calling is always the best for me.  While I have been going through the book of Matthew, a scripture in particular jumped out at me.

“Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world.  God is not a secret to be kept.  We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill.  If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you ?  I’m putting you on a light stand.  Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand–shine!  Keep open house; be generous with your lives.  By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16

The Lord was revealing to me the importance of shedding light on fear itself!  God has brought me through a lot of horrible stuff, and now he wants to show the world what he has done in my life, so why should I be afraid?  That’s why I’m sharing this my friends.

This is not a spiritual platform.  I am not a perfect person, but through Christ I have found victory over anxiety, and therefore I will not put a basket over that light!  I will let the Lord put my words on a light stand.

One of the lies that anxiety tells us is that we cannot control our thoughts.  I know this is a lie, because through prayer and reading scripture I have been able to take those initial thoughts captive and release them.

“For thought we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.  For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.  We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.” 2 Corinthians 10:3-6

God offers something that the world cannot.  His word.  It’s still alive and active, as if Jesus was speaking to us today.  So if the Lord commands us to take captive every thought, cast all of our cares upon him, and give him all of our fears, why should we even hesitate to do so?  It’s our freedom he’s after!  He wants to set us free!

“I want you to be free from anxieties. ” 1 Corinthians 7:32

    My prayer for all of you who read this, is that you will find your victory in overcoming anxious thoughts, and live in the freedom that the Lord always meant for you to have!




My dear friend Becki has a beautiful shop on Etsy called the Love Note Shoppe.  These cards are just gorgeous and hold onto the power of God’s word.  I have taken them with me in my car while heading to numerous doctor’s appointments and hospital procedures.

Have you seen the movie War Room?  It does such a good job of showing how powerful the word of God and prayer are in a believer’s life.  After watching that film, I decided that it was time to create an atmosphere of truth in my own home.  I wanted a place where I could visibly see God’s truth spoken over me so that when the fear and anxiety swell up, I could fight them head on and conquer.


This process may be self-explanatory to some, but basically you’ll measure the length of jute, adding a few inches on either side so that you can attach them to the nails or whatever you use to hold up this banner.  Then, you’ll have to measure and put nails that fit the length of the jute.  Each card is 2.75″ x 4.75″ and there are 24 total scripture cards.

So if each card is about 5 inches long, that should help you measure the total length of the jute.  What I did was measured 5 feet of jute and laid it down on the ground, put a few cards across it to see how many cards would fit within the five feet of space provided.


You could also hang a second layer under to the original string of jute in case you want to hang more than just a handful of scripture cards.

Another option for this banner would be to jazz it up with some beautiful greenery.  I had a garland from a while back that looks awesome with those little scripture cards hanging down.

Why the clothespins?  So that you can easily take off a card and carry it with you.  If you are in a state of battling anxiety, you know that it follows you wherever you go.  So why not take a weapon with you?

I hope that this post encourages you to fight fear with God’s word!